Interesting interactions between people of any age always end up making for a good story, and there are a lot of stories here. They say that the truth is stranger than fiction, but sometimes, it’s just funny. Erin Saxton talks live to guests Melissa, Della, Jackie, and Carolyn about different interesting interactions they’ve seen. From greeting cards and signs, to prom proposals and police blotter stories, there’s sure to be a lot of fascinating material to mine here.

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Listen to the podcast here:

Erin Goes LIVE With Melissa, Della, Jackie, & Carolyn And Talk About Greeting Cards, Signs, And Prom Adventures!

We want to start spreading the word and having these little meetups. We’re doing them every once in a while on Thursday or every some Thursday, any given Thursday. I don’t know. I don’t like to commit. I have commitment issues. Once you say it, you’ve got to do it. If you’re vague like I am, sometimes people don’t hold you to everything. Somebody who’s always kept me in check is Melissa. She is an original girl from Jersey. I used to live in South Jersey when I was in kindergarten. It’s a big throwback story. My dad transferred jobs. We made the big move to North Jersey. We moved to a town called Whippany, which is after the Whippanong Indians. My dad said, “I started working for this man. His name is Dr. Winter and he’s awesome. You’re going to go over because he happened to buy a house on the same street.”

First of all, who buys a house on the same street as your boss? Can you imagine? Technically, I’m your boss. You’re my executive assistant. I know you love me, but can you imagine moving? You moved to New Jersey, you get this job and you move literally down the street from me. Don’t you think that would be so annoying? I liked it. Sad enough, this dawned on me in this moment, I’m not even kidding. Missy’s parents are so awesome. He was the superintendent. My dad was the principal. I didn’t even know what that meant because we were still so young in grade school that I was like, “Principal?” We were in kindergarten. What did we care? We didn’t know the hierarchy of education, but they ruled the roost.

I was Missy’s best friend, but I get there that she opens the door. You had a Mickey Mouse or a Minnie Mouse plastic decal, the kind that was puffy. She looked like Cindy from the Brady Bunch, like you’re cuter than that hair. You had these pigtails. My dad was like, “Erin, this is Missy. You’re friends.” I was like, “Okay.” He was right. We’d been friends. I was your maid of honor. I wasn’t married yet. You were the first one to get married. Your marriage has lasted. Mine hasn’t. You were in my wedding too. Do you believe it? Being the maid of honor that I am, I sent them a beautiful arrangement and card. It’s okay.

I should remember because it’s around the holidays and we had the pretty hurricanes with the flowers inside. Everyone in the world calls her Melissa. I call her Missy because that’s what I do. Speaking of cards, I thought it would be fun to read. I’m intrigued by crazy police blotter stories. I can’t help it. I love to hear the stupid stuff people do. Technically if you call the police, they have to come. They have to report what they saw there like the process.

There was a woman in Blaine, I don’t know how long ago this was, but a woman in the 1900 block of 129th Lane northeast reported on October 15th that someone must have stolen her mail because she did not receive birthday cards from some of her friends. First of all, Elle is here. She probably sends the cutest cards. She posted the cutest Christmas tree on Instagram. I bring up the cards because I don’t send cards anymore and I think that’s bad. I probably should do that. Am I like, “Miss one, I don’t send you an anniversary card and I’m your maid of honor?” Have I offended you?

No.

Are you sure?

I am positively sure.

Carolyn, do you send cards? What about you, guys? Do you guys send cards? I don’t even do Christmas cards anymore.

I do to select people. They’re all over it.

I send cards to people that are not my friends.

Why?

They’re my friends but they’re not in my circle.

I should be happy that I’ve never received a card from you.

You’re in the circle.

If all of a sudden, I was like, “Della, you sent me a card.”

Let’s say this. I totally disagree with Della. I send cards so I can give a nice little hand written like. “I’m here, I’m alive.” Some things you need to do more than text.

I’ve never gotten a card from you, Jackie.

Not yet, wait for it. How about attend to mail?

It’s important to have friends. It’s important to do fun things for your friends. There was a woman, a resident reported a number of bras hanging from trees in the 8900 block of North Lake Drive at 6:50 AM on August 24. There was also a sign. Does anyone want to guess what the sign said?

“Be clear, boobs?”

I thought it was going to be like, “I’m here to support you.” You hear support or support our troops and all the bras maybe were yellow. I don’t know. I was thinking like it could have been that but no, the sign said, “Hope you had an uplifting vacation.” Have you guys ever did it? The kids nowadays asked to go to prom and stuff with signs and big gestures. You guys have older kids. Did you miss that phase or you were right in that phase?

 

We were right in it.

Tell me some good prom asks.

I got those little candles with the battery kinds. They put it outside on the driveway in big words that said “Prom” at night. They had her look out the window.

Did she say yes?

She said yes, that was my son.

Can you imagine if she said no?

The other one was asked the fish in the sea and there was a sign and a little fish tackle box with all kinds of candies in it.

We’re talking about asking girls and guys acting girls to the prom and the signs that you put on people’s lives. Is that still popular to do like to ask to go to the prom? Eric, her son, will be fifteen. He’s in grade nine, a freshman. This is one of my oldest friends named Melissa. Her son put up in prom with all these candles and stuff like that. Are you going to get creative too when you ask a girl to prom? No? What if that’s the popular thing to do? What’s the coolest prom ask you’ve ever seen happen?

It’s just a sign.

It’s like written in a marker?

It’s like words with it.

It's important to do fun things for your friends. Click To Tweet

They got clever with it. Della, what about you?

I was about to ask my son. How did you ask your date to the prom?

I texted her.

Eric likes that.

My son did the same too.

He had his same old girlfriend. It was a given. I didn’t think they had to do the whole creative thing.

Mine’s like we were best friends. I didn’t have to do that. Be more creative.

What about Emma? What happened? Anybody asked her creatively?

That was the one with all the fish in the line. I can’t remember what it said, but he had a tackle box that said prom on it. Inside had all kinds of fish candies, the little worms and the Swedish fish.

I didn’t hear you say that. He was probably walking in when I missed that.

That’s how she was asked.

 

That’s a creative thing. Give out fish and I’ll eat the candy later.

We do things big in Texas.

I will take a weekend to come visit. Have you ever seen those homecoming mums?

No. What are you talking about?

Google it and you will completely go crazy.

Is it like a corsage?

This was new when I moved here. The guys give the girls this mum that hangs over their head. It’s a big mum and all of these ribbons hang down. It’s all personalized. There are lights. There could be bubbles. It’s crazy. The guys, get this. The girls make a guy one that is for their arm, it goes up here and it’s a flower. It has all these ribbons on it. My son had his football number. Google them. Some of them are so huge. It’s crazy. They can’t even walk. My daughter refused to get one because the hallways are so loud that she refused to take part of that.

That’s so funny. Do florists make them?

Yes, the florist will make them. There is some in Michael’s, which you guys have, the craft stores. They have all kinds of different ribbons. They can cost up to $200.

This is Jake. How’s college going, Jake? When a girl gave that to you, you were like, “Thanks?”

I had to act excited. These are ridiculous. It makes a lot of noise and I had to pretend to be excited to wear it.

Homecoming mums are a new trend. Guys give them to girls, and it hangs over their head. Click To Tweet

I don’t even know what to say about that. I was going to lead with this guy with the last name of bacon, but I feel like we should end on the month thing. We should see the bacon story for later because we all need to go google mums now.

I’m going to see if I can get through that.

I don’t know what you said.

We can all do better for 2020. I took too long to get off.

You wanted us to talk about how we can be better people in 2020, which we can. No worries we can totally talk about that. I’m going to quickly do the bacon thing because it’s funny. A guy named Thomas Bacon attack someone for taking the last piece of sausage in his house at 3:30 in the morning. Here’s the last one, a Grand Rapids resident told police that someone had entered his home during the night and taken five pounds of bacon from the refrigerator. Upon further investigation, police discovered his wife had gotten up for a late night snack, but was afraid to admit it.

First of all, five pounds of bacon is your snack. You don’t smell. The guy thinks the burglar is there. You don’t think that house smelled like five pounds of bacon was being cooked up on it? They called the police because he’s missing so much bacon. The wife isn’t secured enough in her marriage to go, “I ate the bacon.” She let the police come to the house. Do you know there’s a discussion about, “Honey, we’ve been robbed.” You know that’s happening. He’s like, “I’m calling 911.” That’s happening because no one calls the police without checking mentally that they should do that like, “I should call the police.” No one goes, “911.” No one does that. You always go, “I’m going to call the police.” In other words, “Stop me if I’m an idiot right now.”

This is wrong on so many levels. I don’t think this guy would have five pounds of bacon at one time in their house. There probably were lots of other smells going on. That is a horrible diet. I love bacon, but five pounds? What does five pounds of bacon look like? Is that enough to make the fridge when it’s gone look empty?

Yes.

Is it for real? For Christmas, downstairs we’ve got a standing rib rose, whatever. That takes the whole bottom shelf because we’re feeding 60 people. For five pounds of bacon, I don’t know.

You’re going to miss that. I have a bacon addiction. That could have been me in that story.

Except you would have said to your boyfriend, “I know you got one,” “I ate the bacon. Put the phone down.”

 

If it was five pounds, I don’t know if I would have confessed to the whole five pounds.

You would have let the cops come to your house?

Maybe not that far.

Della would’ve been the one calling the cops.

Nothing else was stolen. That doesn’t strike this husband as odd like, “Only my bacon is taken.”

He should know his wife. He should have known she was a bacon lover. That’s a disconnect. There are deeper issues there.

I got another thing. How long did it take her to eat five pounds of bacon?

I don’t know. What’s faster, her eating the five pounds of bacon or the police in Grand Rapids response time to get to the scene of the crime?

He didn’t miss her this old time from getting up, cooking the bacon and eating the bacon. Was she eating while she was cooking? Was she on pound to watch, cooking a pound? Della, you’re the bacon expert. How do you eat five pounds of bacon one pound at a time?

It’s pretty much like that. You’ve got to make sure you eat this right. By the time you realized you’ve eaten five pounds, you do not want to admit to that. She’s been with me when I cried when they ran out of bacon. You don’t want to admit it is true.

Carolyn, she told me that story at a breakfast or something and this place had the best bacon. We were at the same place and she goes, “The waitress or server is going to come over. I need you to know something.” I’m like, “What?” She goes, “One time I was here,” and she told me there wasn’t any bacon. She goes, “I cried.”

That’s how much you love bacon.

Della, they searched everywhere and found your bacon. They took it off of somebody’s plate. I said, “What happens? That older woman didn’t touch the food. She looks she has anorexia. She didn’t touch it.” I’m like, “What happened?” She goes, “With pride I ate it anyway.” I get dehydrated just thinking about it all.

I’m not proud, but my blood pressure went up and my ankle swelled.

Thanks for joining me. As usual, this was fun. We got family involved like spontaneous. Kids walked in and dogs walked in. Jake was there. Michael was there.

I had tickle in my throat so I went and got like a little care package. I got myself a Starbucks medicine ball and that acid psyllium stuff.

I’ll talk to all of you soon. I love you all. Thanks for being friends. We will pick this up again soon.